Riddle me this: We all want to grow, right? Grow our career. Grow our business. Grow our skills in pickleball, piano, poker, and parenting. Grow, grow, grow.
So, when growth actually starts to happen—when we get a promotion, close a deal, or finally get invited to the big kids' table on poker night—why do we feel stressed and panicky?
Understanding the Five W's can help us get of our own way, so that we can start growing faster and winning bigger.
The Five W's
1. Win
Growth almost always starts with a win. You win a sale, a promotion, the attention of a longed-for love interest. This win ignites your belief that the next level is attainable. It's game on.
2. Worry
Days, hours, or just minutes after that win, the excitement morphs into worry.
What if I can't deliver on the promise I just sold?
What if I fall short of my new team's expectations?
What if my Love Interest #1 finds out about by my screechy laugh or my secret obsession with taxidermy?
But then...
3. Wonder
All that nervous energy switches the gears in your brain.Which heightens your awareness to ordinary sights, sounds, smells and curiositiesyou nevernoticed before. Then on some random Tuesday, seemingly out of nowhere, you hatch an insight. You experience a Wonder that points the way to your next course of action.But turning Wonders into Wins requires...
4. Work
Work is how you put yourinsightinto action. Work is not always "fun" in the traditional sense of the word. When former CEO at IBM, Ginni Rometty saysthat "growth and comfort can never co-exist," she is talking about the Worry and the Work that fuel growth.
And yet leaders like Rometty are fine with the temporary Worry and the bouts of harder-than-usual Work. Why? Because they know what comes next.
5. Win
Eventually all that Worry and Wonder and Work produces yet another Win. And then guess what? The process starts all over again...and again...and again...and again.
That's why growing faster and feeling better is not about escaping the Worry and the Work. Growing faster and feeling better is about embracing the Worry and the Work, because you fully expect the Wonder and the Wins that will follow.
NOTES
1. Psychologist Daniel Wegner's research on Paradoxical effects of thought suppression (a.k.a. "White Bear Phenomenon") explains why trying to escape worry doesn't work.
2. In contrast, James Pennebaker's research shows why welcoming worry and stress can not only make you feel more energized and less stressed, it can also improve your physical health.
3. Definitely check out Alia Crum at the Stanford Mind & Body Lab to learn more about the exciting research showing how embracing worry at work can enhance both job performance and mental health.
